Strong little fighters!

I can't believe the girls are already 2 weeks old. The last 2 weeks have been such a whirlwind I am not even sure where to begin.

The girls have been moved to the Continued Care Nursery part of the NICU so they now have their own rooms with a TV, couch and chair for Pace and I to hang out and spend some time with them. It is MUCH better than where we were, we now have some privacy and a little bit more intimate space with the girls. I really wish they were in the same room so we could all hang out as a family, but as I have grown to learn, that is just one more thing that is out of my control.

The NICU is not an easy place to be in. The staff is wonderful, and they are the reason our girls are doing so well, but at the same time it is very difficult having different nurses almost every shift. Each one has their own rules, own expectations, own rituals and it is hard as new parents to keep up. Some nurses want us to do as much of the girls care as possible, and others prefer that we stay out of the way and hold the girls as minimally as possible. I know the rules are in place for a reason but it is really hard to have someone tell me that I can only hold my daughters for an hour at a time when I have struggled for them for 10 years. I just keep having to tell myself...I have waited 10 years, what is another couple of weeks.

Both girls have just been doing amazing. They are both eating from a bottle, gaining weight, on room air and doing everything that they need to be at this point. Araya is now over the 3 pound mark and Chloe is over the 4 pound mark. The Dr.'s are hoping to take Chloe's PICC line out in the next couple of days which is HUGE!!! I will be so relieved when that yucky thing (and the IV stand) can go away! It will be much easier to bathe and hold the girls.

Pace and I are both continuing to work while the girls are in NICU so that we have all of our vacation time to use when they come home from the hospital. It is looking like Chloe may be coming home before Araya, but you never know, each day is a new day for the girls so we will just have to see how it all plays out.

One day soon the girls will be home with us and I can't wait!

Our beautiful daughters are here!!!

Wow what a difference a week makes!!!

Sunday evening Nikki started having contractions again, so as a precaution we went to the hospital. During the first ultrasound they discovered that Baby B (Araya) had almost no fluid in her amniotic sac. They decided to monitor her through the night and check the fluid in the morning. There was no change in the second (and even third) ultrasound, so the high risk ob made the call to get the girls delivered. 2 hours later Nikki and I were in the OR witnessing our beautiful girls being born.

Chloe Elizabeth Clinger was born at 2:08pm on 11/11/13 weighing 3lbs. 5oz. and Araya Mae Clinger was born at 2:09pm on 11/11/2013 weighing 2lbs. 8oz. They are tiny, but they are mighty!!!

The girls are really doing very well. The both needed help breathing and they are now weaning them off of their C-PAP machines to see how well they tolerate it. They are getting all of their nutrients through an IV right now because their little tummys just aren't mature enough yet for formula. They are both under lights for jaundice and they are monitoring their blood counts as twins with twin to twin transfusion typically have either too much blood or are anemic.

Overall, I am thrilled with the health of the girls. They have a long way to go, a lot of weight and strength to gain, but the fact that they are breathing on their own with very little assistance makes this momma very proud.

We don't know how long they will have to be in the NICU, each baby is different so we are just taking one day and one milestone at a time. Araya has been great with her sucking reflexes and little Chloe started practicing her suck reflexes today! That is a huge thing developmentally as that is very important when they actually start feeding from a bottle.

Nikki is doing very well. I know the c-section was not her ideal birth plan, but she did it because she knew it was best for the girls. She is healing well and has been able to hold both of our daughters while she has been in the hospital. I am glad that I have some great pictures of her holding each of them so I can show them to the girls when they get a little older and will be able to physically show them how much their Mama Kiki loves them and cared for them during their stay in NICU.

Time is a little limited right now, but I will do my best to update the blog with the girls achievements and photos too!

32 weeks...we made it!!!!

What a whirlwind of a week!

Nikki and the girls stabilized last week, contractions stopped and the fluid levels on the girls leveled out so the Perinatologist agreed to release Nikki with the condition that she stay on bed rest at our house. I am so grateful that the girls have made it to 32 weeks and right now we are just trying to get another 2 weeks of them cooking in there.

This has been extremely hard on Nikki, she has had to be away from her son for a week now and I know she misses him deeply. We are making arrangements to get him down here, but I know she will be relieved when the girls are here and she can be with her son and back in her own home. I enjoy having her down here and I know I have said it before, but I hope the girls get her smile. Her smile and laugh brighten up my day. Her eyes sparkle and you know that it is a genuine, authentic smile and laugh. 

Nikki's care is being transferred to a Dr. closer to our house however her current Peri will continue to work with the new Dr. and they will make decisions together. We have our first appointment with the new Dr. today, I hope they are as loving, compassionate and knowledgeable as her current Dr.

This is all starting to become very real. Nikki and I sat in the nursery together yesterday sorting through clothes, taking tags off and figuring out which clothes we need to wash vs. store. It is still very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that in 2 weeks, I will be a mommy. After fighting so long, and struggling for so long it is just hard to imagine. I wonder how long it will take my head and my heart to realize that I am not babysitting, that the girls are actually staying with us in our home forever. :)

Pace and I have already been completely overwhelmed by all of the love and support we have received from our friends and family. We have people taking care of our dog, bringing us food, handling work responsibilities, offers to help with Nikki's son...we are so lucky to have some of the best friends and family on the planet!!!

Post written 10/31/2013

I am writing this post sitting in a dark hospital room with Nikki (Previously on this blog I called her Eliza, but with everything we have been through together the last couple of days, it just feels right using her real name). 

Nikki went into preterm labor Tuesday night, they air lifted her from Show Low to Arrowhead hospital in Glendale. As of right now the twins are stable and Nikki is resting beside me and for that I am extremely grateful. Nikki has been such a trooper – she has been a warrior for these girls. This has not been an easy pregnancy for her, but she continues to fight on to do what is best for the twins.

Right now as long as the girls are doing well inside, they want to keep them in as long as possible. If she show any decelerations or complications, then the girls will be delivered. We saw the Perinatologist yesterday and thus far he has been the BEST doctor we have seen. He is compassionate, he is caring, honest and thorough. He discovered yesterday that the girls have what is called twin to twin transfusion. Basically Baby B is giving most of her blood, nutrients and fluid to Baby A. This obviously causes issues with Baby B, but it also causes major complications with Baby A. 

Yesterday Nikki opted to have a procedure done that was not an easy one. They did an amniotic reduction which is where they remove fluid from the amniotic sac of Baby A to hopefully relieve the pressure of the excess fluid and help stimulate Baby B to start making her own fluid again. This procedure was done by sticking a needle in Nikki’s belly button down through her uterus and into the amniotic sac. Not an easy procedure and with the risks associated, it was not an easy decision for her to make. Her strength and bravery continue to amaze and inspire me.  The love and gratitude I have for her as a young woman standing here with me fighting for the lives of our daughters is overwhelming. 

We really hope that the girls will stay put for another 3 weeks, but right now we are just taking it hour by hour. If they are born right now, their survival rate is near 95%, but their NICU stay will likely be long. We just want the girls to be healthy and have no long term issues due to their prematurity.

As if this wasn’t enough for one week, this morning I took our dog, Lucky Boy to the vet and sent him over the rainbow bridge. The day after our baby shower, he got sick and he has just gotten sicker. We have had tests run and determined that he had some sort of cancer. He was refusing to eat, was lethargic and overall just not feeling well at all. We started him on steroids Tuesday and he perked up and started eating again, so I thought maybe he would at least pull through and feel good for a couple more weeks. However he stopped eating again yesterday and I woke up to him multiple times in the night and he was just trembling. It was obvious to me that he was in pain and I was not going to make him suffer anymore. 

He went peacefully, I got a clay paw print from the vet and we are having him cremated and his ashes returned. I am so sad that the girls are not going to know the dog that has been there for us and who was our “first baby”. I feel in my heart of hearts that this was bothering Lucky for a while but he wouldn’t let us see it until after the baby shower he knew we were going to be okay. That the girls were coming and he didn’t have to be there for us to hold onto anymore.

I haven’t cried this much in years. My head hurts, my heart is broken, I am scared and I am exhausted.  Prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated.

Chloe and Araya -

Chloe and Araya -

I am SO glad you girls have stayed put for another week! Every week you can stay in that comfy belly, the healthier and more stable you will be when you are born!

This weekend I was able to get some really cute preemie sized clothing for the two of you when you are in the hospital and when you first come home. I can't believe how TINY they are! You are going to be the two cutest little dolls ever! Daddy and I spent a lot of time preparing for you this weekend too. We were busy getting the diaper bag ready, sterilizing bottles and putting up the vinyl decals your birth mom made for your nursery. I love them, they add her very own touch to your room, it is so special to sit in the rocking chair and see the beautiful message she had made as a constant reminder of the love she not only has for the two of you, but daddy and I as well! There were many moments this weekend that I had to stop and catch my breath. Thinking of the two of you in our home literally takes my breath away. I never knew I could love someone that I have yet to meet so much.

You two are causing your birth mom quite a bit of pain and discomfort. She took your brother Trunk or Treating on Saturday, and apparently the two of you didn't particularly care for all of the vertical time and walking around she did. She was pretty sore yesterday morning from the two of you riding so low. I know you are just trying to stretch out and get some more room, but go easy on her okay? She has your big brother to chase after too!

We are counting down the weeks till we meet you! After tomorrow we only have 5 weeks to go (provided that you stay in there that long) What an amazing Christmas this is going to be girls! Past Christmas' have been painful never having little ones to wake up with (except for your aunt Emily who cannot WAIT for you to be born) and not being able to carry on family traditions (or start our very own) with our children. This year, we will have the best presents we ever could have asked for under our tree...the two of you. I get choked up thinking about spending Christmas with you, oh baby girls what a difference the two of you have made in our lives already. If I cry a lot the first couple of months you are here, don't think I am unstable, it is just because I am crazy in love with you and so in awe that you are actually in our lives - the wait for you has been unbearable at times!

Okay girls, you are in the home stretch. Continue to grow big and strong, but be easy on Eliza okay? I love you so much my little beauties and I count down the days until we can meet face to face.

Love you to the moon and back, always and forever!

Crazy, Amazing weekend

I know this post is super late. This week has just flown by!

We had a simply wonderful weekend with Eliza, her little boy, our friends and family. On Wednesday we went to the cardiologist. Baby A's heart is still not 100%, but is still showing improvement which is wonderful! On Friday we went to the Perinatologist and he had all good things to report as well. Baby A was 3lbs. 1oz. and Baby B was 2lbs. 4ozs.

The girls are still growing, but need to stay in there for at least another 4 weeks!

Saturday Eliza and I got our hair done together and it was really nice to sit and have some quiet, girl time. We listened to music and just hung out. It was so much fun getting to know her better and also being able to establish a bond with her little boy. I wanted to help Eliza with him as much as possible because I know it is hard for her to chase after him and pick him up all the time.

 

Here is our first picture together of the weekend. 

Saturday evening we went to a place called Rock'n R Ranch with my family and had a great time. There were cowboys, lassoing, singing, horses and even a gun fight. I got to introduce Eliza to my mom, aunt and two cousins which was so awesome. I know how much they all love her already, but it was really nice to see that in person! 

Sunday was a BIG day! We had close to 50 people in our house! What an amazing turn out and even some of Eliza's co-workers were able to come down for the shower which was really nice! Eliza did amazing the entire day. I was worried about her, but every time I saw her, she had a smile on her face - that beautiful smile that lights up the room - I really hope the girls get her smile! All of our friends and family were so supportive and all commented on what a wonderful relationship Eliza and I have. We are more like sisters than anything - she is the little sister I never had and I am the big sister she never had :) 

Here is the cake my amazing Sister-in-law made! A beautiful sea turtle with little baby turtles!!!!

We got SO much stuff at our shower! We got lots of diapers, clothes, bottles, our diaper bag, blankets, bathing stuff, rocking chair, car seats and stroller! The list goes on and on. We are still trying to figure out where all of the stuff is going to go! 

My favorite gift of the day came from Eliza herself. She had a vinyl wall expression made for us. There are a few hearts, the twins' names and then a large expression that reads: "From God's Arms, Nurtured Within Me, placed in your hearts forever." Let me tell  you - there was not a dry eye in the entire place after reading that. There just aren't words to describe the beauty of that statement and the honor that I feel that she chose us. 

Here is my favorite photo from Sunday. This is my husband, Eliza and I at the end of the shower with the birds flying overhead at just the right time. 

 

 On Tuesday the girls dropped and are sitting pretty low. Then this morning, they gave us a little scare as well, but they are still staying put, and hope they continue to do so for at least 4 more weeks. After that point, the girls probably won't have to be in NICU and that is what we are shooting for. Going to have to get some preemie clothes I am afraid! 

Emotional, Wonderful week

Oh man this week has been awesome!

Eliza and her little boy drove town Tuesday evening and will be staying with us until Sunday. I am SO enjoying their company! It has been so fun interacting with her little boy and I love that he is warming up to me now. He even let down his guard enough to ALMOST fall asleep while I was holding him yesterday!

Yesterday we went to the cardiologist and although Baby A's heart has improved, it still isn't 100%. There really isn't anything more they can tell us until after the girls are born. It may affect her and then it may not, we just don't know. We go back to the cardiologist on November 13th for another check-up before the girls are born.

Last night Eliza made the most delicious homemade Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo with...wait for it...Homemade noodles!!! It was so fun working in the kitchen with her. I learned how to make this delicious dinner and created a wonderful memory with Eliza. This weekend is going to be full of wonderful memories! I am so excited to start taking lots of pictures with Eliza and her little boy so we can all sit down together some day and show the twins how much love they brought to all of us before they were even born.

I got to feel the girls kicking and moving around in Eliza's belly last night. It was amazing! I am so grateful that Eliza and I have a good enough relationship that we can share these moments together. I will never forget the feeling of the girls under my hand and the overwhelming love I felt in that moment.

The weekend is quickly approaching and when I begin to think about the shower, it all feels so surreal. I almost feel like I am hosting a shower for someone else at my house, it hardly feels real that this shower is for Pace and I.  Such a crazy, amazing feeling!