Post written 10/31/2013

I am writing this post sitting in a dark hospital room with Nikki (Previously on this blog I called her Eliza, but with everything we have been through together the last couple of days, it just feels right using her real name). 

Nikki went into preterm labor Tuesday night, they air lifted her from Show Low to Arrowhead hospital in Glendale. As of right now the twins are stable and Nikki is resting beside me and for that I am extremely grateful. Nikki has been such a trooper – she has been a warrior for these girls. This has not been an easy pregnancy for her, but she continues to fight on to do what is best for the twins.

Right now as long as the girls are doing well inside, they want to keep them in as long as possible. If she show any decelerations or complications, then the girls will be delivered. We saw the Perinatologist yesterday and thus far he has been the BEST doctor we have seen. He is compassionate, he is caring, honest and thorough. He discovered yesterday that the girls have what is called twin to twin transfusion. Basically Baby B is giving most of her blood, nutrients and fluid to Baby A. This obviously causes issues with Baby B, but it also causes major complications with Baby A. 

Yesterday Nikki opted to have a procedure done that was not an easy one. They did an amniotic reduction which is where they remove fluid from the amniotic sac of Baby A to hopefully relieve the pressure of the excess fluid and help stimulate Baby B to start making her own fluid again. This procedure was done by sticking a needle in Nikki’s belly button down through her uterus and into the amniotic sac. Not an easy procedure and with the risks associated, it was not an easy decision for her to make. Her strength and bravery continue to amaze and inspire me.  The love and gratitude I have for her as a young woman standing here with me fighting for the lives of our daughters is overwhelming. 

We really hope that the girls will stay put for another 3 weeks, but right now we are just taking it hour by hour. If they are born right now, their survival rate is near 95%, but their NICU stay will likely be long. We just want the girls to be healthy and have no long term issues due to their prematurity.

As if this wasn’t enough for one week, this morning I took our dog, Lucky Boy to the vet and sent him over the rainbow bridge. The day after our baby shower, he got sick and he has just gotten sicker. We have had tests run and determined that he had some sort of cancer. He was refusing to eat, was lethargic and overall just not feeling well at all. We started him on steroids Tuesday and he perked up and started eating again, so I thought maybe he would at least pull through and feel good for a couple more weeks. However he stopped eating again yesterday and I woke up to him multiple times in the night and he was just trembling. It was obvious to me that he was in pain and I was not going to make him suffer anymore. 

He went peacefully, I got a clay paw print from the vet and we are having him cremated and his ashes returned. I am so sad that the girls are not going to know the dog that has been there for us and who was our “first baby”. I feel in my heart of hearts that this was bothering Lucky for a while but he wouldn’t let us see it until after the baby shower he knew we were going to be okay. That the girls were coming and he didn’t have to be there for us to hold onto anymore.

I haven’t cried this much in years. My head hurts, my heart is broken, I am scared and I am exhausted.  Prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated.